Dream2be

1... Combating Stupidity
2... You, Too, Can Do Housework
3... PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
4... How to Fill an Ice Tray
5... We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money

6... Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am
7... Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled "Don't Wash my Silks")

Once there was a millionaire who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter that was single.

A man walks into a pharmacy and goes to the counter. Standing behind the counter is a young woman.

"May I speak to the pharmacist?" he asks.
"Well," she replies, "I am the pharmacist."

He looks very uncomfortable, and asks for a *male* pharmacist, as he has a "male problem."

She informs him that only she and her sister work at this particular establishment.

This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, and are watching the auctioning off of bulls.
The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off:

"A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year."
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, and comments,
"See! That was more than 5 times a month!"

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

When you're 47 years old, you sometimes hear a small voice inside you that says: "Just because you've reached middle age, that doesn't mean you shouldn't take on new challenges and seek new adventures. You get only one ride on this crazy carousel we call life, and by golly you should make the most of it."

This is the voice of Satan.