Dream2be

Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a
Polak, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe
says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"

The German responds, "I will take oil!"

A guy boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat.
He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye. He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes, mind if I ask how you got yours?

Other guy: "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident.

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she'll see him later, and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that??!!"

"Oh" replies the husband, "that was my mistress." "That's it," says the wife, "I want a divorce."

Usually everyone who has a dog would call the dog Rover or something. I call mine "Sex". Sex is a very embarrassing name, but I never knew HOW embarrassing until one day I took Sex for a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for him. A police officer came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I was looking for Sex."

A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the Department manager.